let my brain rest

Now I have to let my brain rest, I think I am going in overdrive. There's this mad sense of urgency to do something. yesterday I went to see Sandra, by way of Toria picking me up to go there. Anyway about three yrs. ago 5 ladies got together who love to sew, and they promptly fell to pieces within six month. Only two of stay keep in contact with each other. Hence me seeing Sandra yesterday....it's been three years since I've seen her. As usual Sandra was so busy on the phone she didn't even looked up briefly and I do mean briefly. Well Toria and I waited until she finished her business of ordering dinners. She fries up meat for some of the grocery stores. After 10mins. of listening her finish off the orders, she finally saunters over to me to give me a hug. She then says, "girl I've been so busy" and I said, "I know it's been three years hasn't it? Then all three of us started to laugh. I know she is a busy women but I refuse to get into a one sided friendship. I get so tired of that. I just hear from two of the ladies. Toria, and Priscilla, other than that I don't hear from anyone anymore. We were going to do so much as far as sewing is concerned. Both ladies are really strong sewers. If they got the time to show me something, well jack sprat grew onions out of his ass. I hate when people say, "oh that's easy, I'm going show you how to this and that, and then I'll get you this and that, and then they never come through. I hate it when people aren't dependable. I just want to scream.
so I am going to learn to do the sewing by myself. They shared the talk but not the walk. I'll just buy more books and tapes and whatever. That's what I'll do. In the mean time I have to find somewhere to go...and I really don't know if I am going to be....and pray, pray, pray